23rd
Oh, I didn’t put this here yet?
Have you ever heard the fable of the turtle who tried too hard? The turtle was a very slow creature, and as such, rarely managed to keep up with the other animals, except when the animals stopped to make fun of him. In any case, the turtle, for whatever reason, perhaps due to a desire to have friends, decided to follow in the footsteps of the other animals, hoping one day to catch up with them. On the trail, he spies a giant stone statue. A sign is taped up on the statue with several messages written on it: “This statue was too awesome to deface” “I wish we could bring it with us” “Yeah that would be awesome” “Too heavy though” The turtle knew this would be his way in to get his fellow critters to bring him along when he was too slow. So he gathered some wood. Using his mighty turtle teeth, he bit away at the wood to form wheels and a platform, which he held together from the sap of the trees. Turtle pushed, and he pushed, and what he lacked in speed, he made up for with strength and pushed the statue down onto his makeshift cart. Satisfied with his ingenuity, he continued to push on through the forest until he arrived at the lake, where he knew he’d find the other animals this time of year. “Look, everyone, remember the cool statue you guys saw? I found a way to bring it with us!” Turtle said. The animals looked at him confusedly. “Guys, come on, I found your note,” Turtle said, waving the note left on the statue. “Ohhh, I remember that,” Rabbit finally said, “wasn’t that like two years ago?” Some of the other animals nodded. Rabbit took Turtle aside. “Turtle,” Rabbit began, ” if you spent less time trying so hard to impress us, it would be a lot easier for you to stay with us.” Just then, Turtle’s makeshift cart began to roll downhill and, hitting a large rock, sent the statue careening into the lake. As it sank, the statue decayed, melting into the water, leaving a foul stench that swept over the entire area. “Oh, great! Thank, Turtle. Thanks a lot!” Bear gruffly shouted. “Yeah, fuck you, Turtle,” said Duck. Rabbit said nothing, but placed his paw on Turtle’s shoulder and kicked him in his sad turtle nuts. Rabbit then hurried off to join his friends, who were already vacating the lakeside.
